Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize