New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize