I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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