Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
