God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
