Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
