Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
naw, they were rude, not me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.