I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
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Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando