This is not my ceiling
...so i touched it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?