Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
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just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
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The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?