I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks