Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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