the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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