they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How does it feel to date your dad?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
