He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
