Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
