Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize