Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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