I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
