you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize