I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he thought i was a dude.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
