On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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