So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
