toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
