she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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