I think I just saw someone hide a body.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
