This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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