I must be too annoying 4 u.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
