Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
