dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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