wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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