didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
