its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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