garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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