I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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