I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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