Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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