her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
