She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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