After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
