the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
