why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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