It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
