I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
