dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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