I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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