Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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