Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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