After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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