I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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