I want to make a zoo with you.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
