weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
