You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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