hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
