I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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