I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
