So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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