Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
