is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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