i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
