like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
