Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
