after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US