is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.