I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?