We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
These tits shall not be calmed
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