did you get engaged???
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
