I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
