Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
