discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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