rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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