By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
