dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
