I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
