would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
